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Six Sexy Ways To Set The Mood

Most men go through it at one point or another. They have a lady coming over to their place, so they frantically sweep dust under their rug, hide their dirty laundry in the closet, take a quick shower and hope for the best.

When it comes time to set the mood though, some men are shy, inexperienced or simply dumbfounded. The most important aspect of setting the mood is to make her feel welcome in your home. Create an atmosphere that not only reflects well on you, but also makes her feel comfortable, setting the tone for the night. You wouldn’t invite her over if your home looked like the inside of Buffalo Bill’s basement, would you? Of course not. Here are six sexy ways to set the mood. You’re an aspiring young gentleman, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. 


Just as you should take the time to make yourself smell good, you should also take the time to make your home smell good.

The first thing to note, much like your cologne, your home should smell good, yes, but don’t overdo it. Too much fragrance can dull the mood, create distractions or give her an allergic reaction…and that’s not sexy. The scent of your home should be noticed, not advertised.

Secondly, your home should smell manly and inviting, none of that Irish Meadow crap. You’re a man. Your home shouldn’t smell like a field of flowers. Go for more subtle, natural aromas that will drive her crazy. says vanilla, patchouli and peppermint will surely help set the mood. However, we’re putting all of our chips on coffee. According to a study, next to aftershave, the smell of freshly brewed coffee helps weaken women’s knees, raising the phrase “Want to come up for coffee?” to a whole new level. That said, we’d be more likely to run with coffee as a staple home scent. It’s manly. It’s intoxicating. And apparently it works.

With this in mind, there are many easy ways to make your home smell great. Scented candles, incense and sprays all do the trick. However, we’d like to challenge you to be a bit more creative. Try pouring coffee beans into a tray and lighting tea lights between the coffee. This inventive way to bring out the aroma of fresh coffee will not only smell great but also make you appear more ingenious than you may actually be. That…or you can be real man and make your own scented candles. Women like creativity.


It’s no secret that dim lighting is essential for setting the mood. It creates an alternative atmosphere right in your own home, allowing you and your date to feel more comfortable. Not to mention, once one sense is dulled down, other senses heighten, right? Exactly.

That being said, not all men have the financial wherewithal to install fancy dimmer switches throughout their homes. We understand that. And for those of you who do…congratulations. For the rest of us who are dating on a budget, candles are the most effective way to achieve romantic yet natural dimmed lighting.

The aforementioned coffee trick is not only a great way to make your home smell great, it also provides low lighting perfect for setting the mood. However, if you’re going to try this, try not to purchase a ton of other scented candles. The mixture of the scents could be a recipe for disaster.

Additionally, go for an assortment of candle shapes and sizes. Spread them throughout the room and be careful not to light your apartment ablaze because that’ll definitely kill the mood. As an added touch, try using an old whiskey bottle or two as distinct candleholders. Don’t use every single bottle you’ve ever saved though. That’ll only come across as tacky, much like saving every whiskey bottle you’ve ever finished. They’re not trophies, fellas.


You probably don’t want to sit around and stare at each other all night, right? So plan something fun to do that will eventually lead to more exciting activity.

Movie nights are great for those gentlemen who aren’t such smooth talkers. Just be sure to choose the right movie. Obviously, Rambo: First Blood Part II isn’t going to rev her engine. Pick a movie that’ll lighten the mood, making it easy for you to casually flirt. Comedies or horror movies generally have loads of sexual content, making it easier to relax, get comfortable and make moves.

For those silver-tongued gents out there, add a little light background music to the sultry sounds of your scripted serenade. We’ll always recommend the classics. Frank Sinatra. Dean Martin. Sam Cooke. Nat King Cole. However, play songs that best reflect on your own personal style…except for death metal. Definitely not death metal. Sorry.

For more ideas on what type of music to play while setting the mood, Mens Health has outlined some sexy scenarios with helpful musical hints.


Never underestimate the power of food. It’s said that some foods enhance sexual performance, libido, etc. We’re not saying you should cook her an entire meal – although that’s not a terrible idea – but it may not be an awful idea to snack on some light aphrodisiacs to get the ball rolling and blood flowing.

According to, chocolate, almonds, bananas, garlic, asparagus, avocados, basil, figs, oysters and honey are all said to have an affect on people’s sexual desires.

Chocolate, called the “king of natural aphrodisiacs”, contains anandamide, a feel good chemical, as well as phenylethylamine…the love chemical. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine in the brain and reaches its height at climax. According to, it’s also said to increase feelings of excitement, attraction and euphoria.

Not only will having sexy foods to snack on help nutritionally, but it could also provide some sort of conversational piece or focus point for those who are generally nervous and need something to fiddle around with.


By now, our faithful readers may already know that whiskey is our drink of choice. However, if all else fails, crack open a bottle of red.

A glass or two of red wine is said to raise women’s sexual urges. A team of Italian doctors concluded in 2009 that red wine may include chemical compounds that increase the blood flow to key areas of the body.

“While this finding needs to be interpreted with some caution, it nevertheless suggests a potential relationship between red wine consumption and better sexuality,” said the team of doctors on The Telegraph.

To add to the experience, you may also want to try pairing specific red wines with chocolates for an overall amazing night. Pairing wine and chocolate is said to be pretty tough to do though, so research wine pairings a bit more before giving this a try.

Remember though, you’re still a gentleman. Loosen up the mood, but don’t get her wasted. That’s certainly not gentlemanly and we’re sure she probably has an older brother who wouldn’t approve. They almost always have older brothers who wouldn’t approve.


The ultimate factor while setting the mood is confidence. Be brave. If we’ve said it once, we’ll say it a thousand times, confidence is key…especially to women. Just be your natural self. Be playful and have fun.

As a matter of fact, if you have confidence, you probably won’t even need the other five suggestions on this list to help you set the mood just right. Women will simply be drawn to your overall charisma and charm. Maybe have a glass of wine or two with her, ease up and enjoy.


Tell us your secrets! What sexy ways do you guys set the mood? Additionally, like this article? Why not like us as well? Find of Iron & Oak on Facebook and Twitter! And, as always, feel free to express your comments, concerns or funny stories in the comments below. Look good. Live well. Of Iron & Oak.

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