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How To NOT Look Like A Bitch When Drinking A Margarita

We could almost guarantee you’ve never looked at a guy holding a margarita and thought, ‘man, this dude could kick my ass.’ But lets face it. Margaritas are unrivaled in terms of alcoholic refreshment on a scorching summer day, they’re capable of rendering you incoherent (if you make ‘em the right way) and it’s probably your girls favorite drink.

This summer, like all those preceding and sure to follow, there’s three things you can count on: you’re gonna sweat your balls off, you’re going to want to spend some quality time with your friends, and you’re going to want to get a little shitty at said occasion. As a gracious host you want to ensure your guests are accommodated to the fullest of your capabilities.  You’ll grill up some delicious summer favorites and dish out some jokes you’re guests will be guilt tripped into laughing at, even if they’re not as easy to stomach as the burgers and dogs. The beer is given don’t worry—it’d be sacrilegious to leave out of the equation. But when staples of summer bashes come up short, a margarita (or four) are qualified to liven things up.


Choose a glass that a man drinks out of, not a Dr. Seuss character.

What’s not to like? Margaritas are a hybrid of two of the modern man’s favorite commodities—booze and slushy, sugar-loaded beverages. Check your ego at the door. They couldn’t be much easier to make and the women present will surely be appreciative. While your buddy’s are likely to be a little reluctant to ship off to Margaritaville, here are some tips to guarantee you don’t look like a floozy gulping down that frozen concoction that helped Mr. Buffett hang on.

Ditch the umbrella, the stemmed glass, the straw, etc; Lose the Stereotype: The whole presentation just sets you up for failure. Instead of dolling it up, dish out some solo cups. We’re cool with keeping some simple garnishes, like a lime for example, but don’t over do it. The same thirst quenching result provided without risk of embarrassment or Paul’s girlfriend blacking out and breaking glass all over your patio like she did last year.  Oh, and it’s critical to lose the umbrella if anything. It’s a god damn drink, and you’re not Mary Poppins.  

The stronger the better: Don’t be afraid to load your batch up with as much Tequila as you see fit. Here’s some simple recipes, from the Fancy Forks Blog and the Food Network, that we deemed sufficient.  If you’re expecting more guests, double the ingredients.  If you feel like not remembering anything past eight or nine, feel free to add another half or whole bottle of tequila to your pièce de résistance.


Just the right amount of booze and refreshment.

Own it: No matter how you deliver the final product, you still are drinking a Margarita. But if you’re going to indulge, don’t half-ass it. When someone peers into your solo cup and doesn’t find beer sloshing around, make sure the face they gaze back up at is proud.



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